Trump would like a little credit for…

One more year, no zombie apocalypse;

The Apes have not risen up to enslave man. Trump will tell you that’s allll him;

He believes that thanks to his “two legs first (four legs bad)” polices visits to the house of pain are at their lowest in years. However, it is still too soon to talk about his proposed executive order regarding “no spill blood.”;

Skynet has not become sentient and instituted Judgment Day (that we know of) Trump will tell you he did that but it could have been a 400 pound hacker in his mother’s basement or “Ghina,”. We just don’t know;

Trump believes he is the reason the alligators have stayed in the sewers and are not roaming the streets devouring children and applying for credit at Barneys;

Trump recently took note that during his presidency the membranes between the multi-verses have not torn asunder allowing hordes of otherworldly creatures to spill into our dimension. So that’s a pat on the back he believes;

He is pretty sure he is the reason the turtle upon whose back the earth rests has not cast us into the void, he wants praise for that;

One more year without an asteroid cracking the earth like an egg, he would like some ‘atta boys’ for that;

The earth has not flipped over switching the magnetic poles and flooding the earth leaving us with fishman Kevin Costner as our only hope of finding dry land, so Trump will be expecting your thank you card; and,

They announced “Stranger Things” will have a season three and four and Trump was looking pretty smug so my guess is he plans to glory snatch that too.

Oh, and all the women who were elected to Congress this year.