Trump Names McDonald’s Employee Who “Always Gets His Fillet-O-Fish Just Right” to head the USDA. GOP pundits take a deep breath, a stiff drink, and then praise the move as “innovateish”.

Following this morning’s surprise announcement by the President sent at 4 am over Twitter, the President’s supporters steeled themselves to present this decision as a bold or at least, in some manner, sane move at any cost to their former integrity or any shred of personal dignity they may have left.

“Sure, everyone makes fun of Caligula for making his horse an empirial minister,” said Rick Santorum on CNN this morning, “but no one stops to ask if that horse had some good ideas.”

The other members of the panel complained that they were distracted during the segment by former Senator Santorum repeatedly stabbing himself in the leg with a pencil each time he spoke in support of the President’s decision.

Paris Denard proclaimed an end to America’s long national nightmare of “flavorless processed fish sandwiches!” Unfortunately, Mr. Denard, a former member of the Bush administration, had to leave the panel discussion early due to a cracked molar as a result of excessively grinding his teeth.

Lauren Ingraham, during her new show on Fox, celebrated the potential elevation of breaded fish patties to what she called, “it’s rightful place,” in the cannon of American cuisine. “President Trump is making America great just like he promised.” She believes this appointment will call attention to the plight of ‘real American fast food’ in the wake of illegal immigrants falsely propping up the street taco industry. “Taco Bell your time has come!” Ms. Ingraham declared triumphantly with no hint of any bothersome shame and unburdened by any impulse toward self reflection.

It Is At Least Part of the Problem.

This may be a long one, but I appreciate you reading it.

Earlier I made what I felt was a reasonable comment:

“Lets stop muddying the discussion on guns with the money and opinions of the NRA, a group that exists solely to promote guns.”

One of the greatest tricks the NRA ever pulled was making people think it stood between them and the criminal hordes. Meh. Not so much.

The NRA wants you to think the government will come for your guns and then take over. Newsflash. They already took over; they are the government. And no matter what scary statements the NRA makes the government has never really made a move on your guns.

The only way I could think of to take the NRA’s seat away from the table was to say let’s not vote for any politician, democrat, republican or other, who takes so much as a penny from the NRA #notapennyfromtheNRA

It turns out many people disagreed with me. Now in the interests of full disclosure I made two mistakes.

First, I posted this in the same place I post my Rules. That muddies my message for my Rules and from now on I will only post my political messages on my political blog. I invite you to look at it, its called Speaking the Unspeakable.

Second, I drifted from my message in my discussion and started to discuss guns instead of the NRA.

I am not a gun guy. I see no reason for anyone to own a gun; but that is me. Others do see a reason. I do not begrudge anyone owning a gun. I just feel that the gun culture in the United States has far exceeded the constitutional text of “well regulated.” I feel like for many people the second amendment has become the ONLY valid amendment.

We live in a time when the Freedom of the Press as outlined within the first amendment is under attack; daily. Many people who yelled at me about their second amendment rights on Facebook not only stand idle while this attack happens but encourage it.

The first amendment, the fifth amendment, the sixth amendment and the fourteenth amendment appear more and more to be “constitutionally inconvenient” for our leaders.

I have made my opinion known on our current President-not a fan-but these issues started WAY before him (yes I’m talking about Obama, and Bush and Clinton and…). Some of this “applicable constitutional flexibility” came by way of the acts of former administrations, some by omissions.

Because I am who I am let me tell you a story.

For many many years it was FACT that if children who are Deaf were taught to use American Sign Language they would never be able to learn to speak or read-lips. It was an unassailable truth.

It is also bullcrap.

There is no scientific support for this idea.

This has recently been proven wrong over and over. Children who have a first language (ASL being the most readily accessible) tend to progress with much less or no delay in school and understand the principles of language, so they more efficiently learn speech and lip reading because they get what it is all for. Some don’t have the same success as others of course because these are skills, not magic.

But it was believed with such a zealot’s fervor that any research into the impact of ASL on education was considered, if not outright blasphemy, at the very least in poor taste. Researchers who even suggested such research were outside the mainstream and shouted down. They were rebels who dabbled in junk “science.” Oh, and completely correct in their theory that ASL was beneficial as it turns out.

So why, if this idea so readily proven false did the pronouncement that “ASL BAD” hang on for so long without scientific support or question?

It’s because Alexander Graham Bell said it; he invented the telephone you know so he was very smart.

He was very smart, but in this case dead wrong. But no one would allow the least room for the heretical notion that he was wrong to creep in to story and sully the genius that was AG Bell. He invented the phone. He knew all.

He also had an economic stake in suppressing ASL (oral education was his family business). He had a scientific stake in his reputation of always being right (he had said it so it was out there).

AG Bell used his treasure and influence to promote an infrastructure in schools for the Deaf based on lip reading and speech, and soon it was self-perpetuating because if any other ideas crept in it could lose hearing teachers of the Deaf their jobs.

Even when children who are Deaf fell behind academically AG Bell could not be questioned. It has just been accepted for years that something about Deafness results in Deaf children not being able to learn to read. Who knows why? One thing is for sure it couldn’t be that AG Bell had it wrong.

So the idea persisted until the truly brave challenged it. Recently. VERY Recently.

What is my point you ask?

The gun culture in this country has perpetuated a myth that ANY regulation will result in people showing up at your door and taking your guns away. It wont. But people in authority, like the NRA, say it’s so. Now you can believe this will be the result of regulation, but it wont. Just like AG Bell there is a huge complex machine dedicated to perpetuating the myth that ANY regulation of gun (even as the constitution says “well regulated”) is an attack on America itself.

There is nothing about the second amendment that is tied to the foundational principles or idea of America. I can say this for two reasons. First, it’s an amendment! It was added after the fact. Second? ITS NOT THE FIRST AMENDMENT. ITS THE SECOND. it was not their first concern.

That is not to say it is not important. Huge fan of the 14th amendment and it’s all the down in slot 14. I’m just giving some perspective.

Speaking against the unregulated, unfettered and open interpretation of the second amendment is not an attack on America!

However, America was attacked.

It was attacked in Florida (recently and before that in the Pulse Night Club). It was attacked in Las Vegas and Charleston and Sutherland Springs and Sandy Hook. These are attacks just as surely as 9-11 was.

Too stand hip deep in the blood of those victims many of whom were just babies and say the second amendment is more important and untouchable than their constitutional right to life is… tragic.

You have a right to own a gun. But that right is not untouchable by regulation. In fact it is supposed to be “well regulated.”

ITS NOT THE GUN. You are right. To a degree. Its not ALL the gun, but it is at least partly the gun. To say that NONE of it is the gun is to deny the truth before your eyes.

It’s about mental health too. But we are just as far behind in that discussion. Congress tried to vote to abolish the healthcare system we have and place and thus take away any hope of access to treatment for people with mental illness on one hand and defended the right of people with mental illness to purchase a gun on the other.

I have said I am not a gun guy. I’m not. I would be thrilled if the only guns people owned were hunting rifles and shotguns. But that is me not you. I am not interested in taking your gun away. I don’t need to be convinced I’m wrong. I actually don’t care to hear any statement telling me that “gun regulation won’t work.”

Because that is stepping over the bodies of the children at Sandy Hook and more recently in a high school in Florida and shrugging.

Its time to stop shrugging at the death of our children.

My proposal was simply this, lets start by taking an organization with a vested interest in guns NOT being regulated away from the table. Let’s talk about what we see right before our eyes without appealing to those who make a better living if we don’t have the discussion. Guns are not all of the problem, but they are some of it. Mental Health is not all of the problem, but it is some of it. Bullying is not all of the problem, but it is some of it. All I’m saying is lets have an honest conversation about it all without the buzzing in our ears from lobbyists.

It will take brutal honesty. It will hurt. All sides will have to give up some ideology they hold precious, and admit some ugly truths.

I’ll start.

Am I a racist? Every time I do something racist. I try to learn and limit how often that occurs. But it will and my denying it when it happens DOES NOT make the problem better, it makes me worse.

I’m I sexist? Every time I say or do something sexist. And I do! I try not to but I am still learning in life. By the way, being the father of a daughter does not inoculate me from sexism. It does however make me liable to her to put less sexism into the world. There is more than enough there already.

Are guns the problem. Not all of it, but definitely some of it, and its time we had a discussion on what “well regulated” means and then quickly followed up with action to regulate them well.

This issue to me is like a Rubiks Cube. It has a lot of sides and a lot of colors, but in the end it’s a fairly simple puzzle because it follows a logical pattern. But many people can’t do it and most won’t attempt it because of all the sides and all the colors.

But unlike a Rubik’s Cube we have to solve this. Lives depend on it.

That is it. Feel free to share or ignore as you will, but I’m done with this discussion here. If you want to yell at me you know where I’ll be. Speaking the Unspeakable

Trump would like a little credit for…

One more year, no zombie apocalypse;

The Apes have not risen up to enslave man. Trump will tell you that’s allll him;

He believes that thanks to his “two legs first (four legs bad)” polices visits to the house of pain are at their lowest in years. However, it is still too soon to talk about a law regarding “no spill blood.”;

Skynet has not become sentient and instituted Judgment Day (that we know of) Trump will tell you he did that but it could have been a 400 pound hacker in his mother’s basement or “Ghina,”. We just don’t know;

Trump believes he is the reason the alligators have stayed in the sewers and are not roaming the streets devouring children and applying for credit at Barneys;

Trump recently took note that during his presidency the membranes between the multi-verses have not torn asunder allowing hordes of otherworldly creatures to spill into our dimension. So that’s a pat on the back he believes;

He is pretty sure he is the reason the turtle upon whose back the earth rests has not cast us into the void, he wants praise for that;

One more year without an asteroid cracking the earth like an egg, he would like some ‘atta boys’ for that;

The earth has not flipped over switching the magnetic poles and flooding the earth leaving us with fishman Kevin Costner as our only hope of finding dry land, so Trump will be expecting your thank you card; and,

They announced “Stranger Things” will have a season three and four and Trump was looking pretty smug so my guess is he plans to glory snatch that too.

Provisions Hidden Within the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act: Five

Section 2 of the Tax Reform Act of 1986 is hereafter revised to provide (in part):

T) Any and all denials of any matter included in Section (S) as well as allegations of sexual assault or same sex… well… sex, shall be deemed as satisfactory explanations and must be given deference if reported by Fox News (under Section (L) also known as the “Nothing to see here” Clause under the subheading “pictures or it did not happen”).

(1) Any reporting of any matter included in Section (S) by actual news agencies shall be legally deemed “fake news” under the omnibus truth exception or “Trump Clause” in Section (Z) of this Statute.

(2) If any photographic, video, audio or other evidence exists of any GOP Senetor or Representative or President for Life Trump a one time General amnesty shall be granted under the omnibus “What About Hillary” and “What about Bill” Clauses. However this protection does not extend to Democrats (see the Pillory Hillary clause in Section D of this amendment).

Provisions Hidden Within the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act: Four

Section 2 of the Tax Reform Act of 1986 is hereafter revised to provide (in part):

Whereas the intent of this legislation is to simplify the lives of true Americans:

R) From the date this act is signed into law abortion for any reason at any time shall be deemed illegal and any person (including only the categories of “persons” as defined by sections (j) (i)-(ix) subgroup non-males or “gals” and as established by this Statute) found seeking to terminate a pregnancy shall be deemed a “floozy” (as defined in section (j) (iii) of this Statute) or in cases specifically defined by regulation an “irresponsible trollop” (as defined in section (j) (vii) of this Statute) or more generally a whore (I think we all know who those women are… I mean does the law really have to spell it out? Because we’re not racists… some of the GOP’s best friends are black).

S) From the date this act is signed into law any any all “persons” (including only the categories of “persons” as defined by special section (j) (x) as “close” or “special” lady friends of GOP Senators or Representatives seeking to terminate the “honest mistake” resulting from their close or special friendship with said Senetor or Representative shall be considered to require a medically necessary procedure. Furthermore, the State will pay any out of pocket costs not covered by the Close or Special lady friend’s insurance from the general fund without any reference to any elected GOP official.

Provisions Hidden Within the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act: Three

Section 2 of the Tax Reform Act of 1986 is hereafter revised to provide (in part):

Whereas the intent of this legislation is to simplify the lives of true Americans:

F) From the date this act is signed into law any any all “persons” (including only the categories of “persons” as defined by subsections (e)-(j) and as newly established by this Statute) born in any country or territory rumored to exist outside the boarders United States, or in some areas of Texas as defined by regulation or in the whole of the State of California shall be uniformly referred to as “Mexicans.”

G) From the date this act is signed into law any any all “persons” (including only the categories of “persons” as defined by sections g, l and m of this Statute) born in Hawaii will be referred to as “Kenyans.”